Do you find yourself struggling to achieve orgasm during intimate moments with your partner? You're not alone. While at least 92% of women orgasm when pleasuring themselves, only 65% of heterosexual women said they usually or always orgasm when sexually intimate (compared to 95% of heterosexual men). Why is this? Well, there are a few reasons:
Lack of Clitoral Stimulation: The clitoris is incredibly important for female sexual pleasure, containing thousands of nerve endings. Penetration alone does not provide sufficient clitoral stimulation, making it challenging for many women to reach orgasm. In fact, most women can’t reach orgasm solely through vaginal penetration.
Lack of Foreplay: Adequate foreplay is essential for many women to become sufficiently aroused and ready for orgasm. Rushing into intercourse without sufficient arousal may not only lead to difficulty reaching orgasm but also discomfort from lack of lubrication and tension. Investing time in kissing, caressing, and oral stimulation can enhance arousal and pleasure.
Lack of Communication: Effective communication is fundamental in any relationship, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy. Many women may find it difficult to express their desires, preferences, and concerns regarding sexual pleasure due to guilt, shame, and cultural norms.
Pressure and Performance Anxiety: The pressure to orgasm or satisfy your partner can create performance anxiety, inhibiting relaxation and enjoyment during sex. This pressure can stem from your partner's desires, societal expectations, media portrayals, or cultural beliefs about sexuality.
Stress & Mental Health: Stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns can profoundly impact sexual function and pleasure. These factors may interfere with arousal, desire, and the ability to reach orgasm, creating barriers to sexual satisfaction.
Now, how do you overcome these things so you can reach that earth-shattering orgasm you’ve always craved?
Toys, Toys & More Toys: Toys are not just for solo play; they can add a whole new dimension to partner play too! When choosing toys, opt for ergonomic designs that fit comfortably between you and your partner, like the Touch by WeVibe or the Fingerific Finger Vibrator. Vibrating cock rings are also another excellent option to enhance sensations. These rings are worn around the base of the penis and provide added hands-free clitoral stimulation during penetration. One of our favorites is the Pleasurizer Vibrating Ring because of its broad head that ensures that it will make contact with your clitoris, no matter the position.
Open Communication: It's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your partner about what you like, what feels good, and any challenges you're facing. While it may feel daunting to share that you've been struggling to reach orgasm, addressing it openly is necessary to work towards a solution. Try to approach them with care and understanding to create a safe environment for open communication. This process can alleviate pressure and strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
Exploration and Experimentation: Every woman's body is unique, so it's essential to explore and experiment to discover what works best for you. Take the time to explore your body through self-pleasure and learn what types of touch and stimulation feel most pleasurable. Do you like nipple play? Maybe some light choking? Or how about dirty talk? Take some time to discover what gets you going.
Sexual Enhancements: Consider incorporating sexual enhancements such as stimulation gels or lubricants. Stimulation gels or lubricants infused with ingredients like L-arginine and CBD ( or THC if you’re feeling extra spicy) can increase blood flow and sensitivity, enhancing arousal and pleasure. Some of our favorites include Climaxa and the Ananada Bliss. These products can be applied directly to the clitoris or other erogenous zones like the nipples to intensify sensations and make it easier to achieve orgasm.
Relaxation and Mindfulness: Stress can interfere with your libido, sexual desire, and ability to orgasm more than you think. Firstly, if you aren’t ready to engage in sex or simply don’t want to because you are too overwhelmed, then don’t. Pushing yourself to do something that you don’t want to do will only make things worse. But, if you happen to be both stressed and sexually frustrated then try using relaxation and mindfulness techniques to help you stay present and focused during intimate moments. Deep breathing, taking a hot shower, using a blindfold, having a glass of wine, and playing some sensual music during intimacy can help you unwind and enhance your overall pleasure.
Overcoming orgasm struggles may take time and patience. Every woman's journey to orgasm is unique, so don't be afraid to explore what works best for you and your partner. Be kind to yourself and your partner as you navigate this journey together. Celebrate small victories and progress along the way, and remember that pleasure is a journey, not a destination.
